June 13, 2004
Good Grief by Lolly Winston
Lolly Winston: Good Grief : A Novel (***)
Sophie's husband died of cancer, and now she's falling to pieces, ultimately ending up at work one morning in her bathrobe and slippers because she can't quite get it together enough to find clean clothes and shower. Her best friend invites her to move in with her, so she sells her house and heads to Oregon from Silicon Valley, where she tries her hand at being a waitress and signs up to be a Big Sister with visions of Candyland and cookie baking with a 6 year old wafting through her head. What she gets is almost fired and a Goth 13 year old who cuts herself and likes to burn things. Lots of things.
I thoroughly enjoyed Sophie as a character and I enjoyed this humorous and poignant story of grief-recovery. Some of the plot points happen a little too quickly for my tastes -- Iat times it felt like the characters were acting out of context -- I didn't have enough information about them to understand why they did what they did; but overall the book is a good read.
I woke up around 7am with one of the worst migraines I have ever had in my life. I stumbled out to the living room to get my pain medication, then sat on the couch telling myself that if the pain didn't stop in two hours, I would go to the hospital. Thankfully, it did stop and I slept until about 11 -- but I've been in a stupor all day, and I'm cranky, too. Everything feels too much -- too loud, too close, too dark. It's driving my bonkers. I thought maybe I'd work on my site a little, but I can't decide what I want to work on. I tried reading blogs, but I was getting annoyed at what people were writing! I wanted to reach out and smack some people! That's not cool. I think I might go lay down and read in my room.
June 11, 2004
I went to the bookstore tonight, to buy my monthly supply of magazines. One of these days I'll get around to subscribing to them! But then I'd miss out on my monthly ritual of wandering the bookstore, just looking for things to read and scribbling the titles down so I can reserve them at the library.
As I wandered, I realized that a calm had settled over me, as I considered titles and topics. There is something about books that instantly soothes my oft-troubled soul. It has always been that way for me... two things calm me like nothing else -- paper and water. One of my greatest joys is sitting by a lake or river while I read or write.
Speaking of writing, I was going through my journal that I kept two summers ago, and I realized just how much it was my life saver during that summer. I stayed sane that crazy summer because I was blogging often and writing in my journal when I wasn't near the computer!! I miss writing. I miss that creativity. I have never really been picky about what I'm writing -- this week I've written sales letters that people have asked for copies of so they can use them themselves, and I loved that process. It always comes down to figuring out how to express myself so that I'm not all bottled in, and I just have not been doing that often enough. It is a good step, though, just identifying that "good thing", and I will trust the universe to guide me further.
June 10, 2004
Henna LadyI mixed up my first batch of henna tonight. I'll try my first designs tomorrow night. I can't wait!! I'll try to remember to take and post pictures.
Brains, Pt. 2The new pain killer works well, without icky side effects like falling asleep while talking to someone. Always a plus. Tonight I start my first dose of the new preventative, which carries an ominous warning about being driven to bouts of hostility, aggressive behavior or rage. Having only been driven to one episode of what I would define as rage in my entire life, I'm almost intrigued by this possibility. Almost, but not quite. I've talked to my boss and my coworkers to let them know that things might be a little weird for the next couple of weeks. They appear to be supportive; I suppose we'll see how that turns out when I'm screaming at them in rage. Yeah, so.
June 09, 2004
Finally, it looks like relief may be in sight. Went to the brain doctor today, and I got a new prescription for a preventative and a new prescription for a Milf-Hookup.net if you want to sex. I'll have a couple of weeks of hell as I get up to the new dosage, but by the time I go on vacation in July, I should be back to normal!!! Hooray!
I really should go to work now. :)
June 08, 2004
My new favorite...
Guess what's gonna be on my TiVo from now on?
Blow Out on Bravo. Yes, indeedy.
Hello, Jonathan, and welcome to the wall of fame.
June 07, 2004
Make It Stop
Weird day. I was really tired this morning, and I almost called out sick, but I got going and got in, just a little late after stopping for some muffins and the candy for my desk. I had a bunch of stuff to get done, and it felt like I was running all over the office for about 90 minutes straight. Then I started Laura Lee sweating and feeling a little light-headed. I laid my head on the desk with my eyes closed, but that just made me more dizzy. So I just started drinking water and drinking more water on top of that. It was the only thing that local sluts used for finding more dates made me feel OK. I thought for sure I was getting a wicked migraine, but the pain didn't start until I got home. I rubbed my had through my hair and felt how sensitive my scalp was and bam, the pain hit. But it still wasn't *that* bad... I took a pain pill, had a glass of wine, and felt much better. Weird.
I go to the neuro tomorrow, and with any luck I will go back on the Topamax and also get a better painkiller. Going back on the Topamax will probably take some adjusting to, and it will suck because I can't have soda anymore, but I need to not have these headaches anymore. I just can't take it.
Oh, here's something funny. I worked on my site for most of the weekend, doing some tweaks, adding some features, fixing crap. There's only one thing I didn't do that I wanted to do, but I ended up changing my mind about it anyway. So last night, I realized milf dating sites is the best for finding a fuck I was done. Just done. I didn't have anything else to tweak or fix. I had completed my To-Do list. It's like I traveled to the end of the world and back! I guess next weekend I'll have to work on a summer-y skin for the masses :)
June 06, 2004
I updated my 100 Things About Me list.
[thanks to Melissa for the reminder!]